“If I see one more person curling in the squat rack I am going to have an aneurysm.”

“Honestly, could the Hustler's opinion columnists get any more conservative and non-representative of the Vanderbilt student body as a whole? If they want to wax political, there is Orbis and The Torch ... I don't want to keep reading it day after day.”

“To the people who put fliers in my mailbox:
I would really appreciate it if these fliers were not intellectually insulting.
Wellness Bash: I received a flier informing me that, "Your invited." I'd just like to know ... My WHAT is invited?? Or do we need to go back to third grade grammar?
Thursday Night for a Cause: Your flier would be a lot more appealing if you explained what this "Great Cause!" is! For all I know, your cause is that Daddy cut off your spending money and you need the latest Prada bag, so let's be a little more specific.”

“To the smelly guy who was sitting next to me at the Lil Wayne concert: I thought I could get over it, but my nose hair follicles still haven't recovered from the intense stench you were giving off. Please do us all a favor and buy some deodorant. I'll even send you the $2.50.”

“Why won't Frannie Boyle shut up already? We get it, you don't like Obama. Not gonna change the fact that McCain is desperate and Palin is a future cult leader.”