Commodores, up
As if I really need to explain this.

"An American Carol," down
I think the Miami Herald put it best: "Nothing against its politics - ‘Carol' just isn't funny." And let's be honest, who actually thought the movie was worth watching? Seriously, it looked terrible.

O. J. Simpson, down
Not only did he "allegedly" break into a man's house to steal back some of his memorabilia he actually sold to the guy, but he now claims the jury is racist. For some reason, I doubt the appeal will go well.

David Hasselhoff, down
The man just seems to get worse. His ex-wife recently went on the record to say, "David is a falling-down drunk, and I covered up for him for years. Alcoholism destroys you whether you are a regular Joe or the biggest star on the planet."

Strippers, up
According to Ars Technica, psychology researchers from the University of New Mexico found exotic dancers make up to 60 percent more when they are at peak fertility. Did I mention that they won the 2008 Ig Nobel prize in economics?

Cubs fans, up/down
Ok, so the Cubs tanked in October again, getting swept by the Dodgers and having as many errors (six) as they had runs. But there's nothing Cubs fans love more than being miserable and talking about how cruel the baseball gods are to them. Here's to another winter-long pity party in the Windy City.

Life, up/down
So maybe we won't have to deal with Bush anymore, but does it really matter? Let's be honest, it doesn't really. Maybe Forrest Gump was right, life is like a box of chocolates, if you're lactose intolerant.